It used to be flawless on my site. Click pages and get clickable sites. Instead it is a way too damn fast scroll that is not clickable. This makes it seriously hard to check out followers as my site did not allow email followers to email me:(
No shame and no crime here
Many things lost never to be
Belongings, loved ones, pets
Jobs, inabilities and lost ones
Losing heirlooms, secrets held
and losing family
Others are not well and some are
They have needs and do not talk
Me, having losses and changes are
challenged and I fail
I can’t even keep up or even find
Just more waiting and lagging like
It is all sad
I have been not myself for what seems like forever but has only been a week and change. I feel awful, have been having extended sleep. I have been trying to be proactive and I do have a ton of material to publish but I am finding myself unable.
Where I live is quite noisy and I am getting less sleep and I have been sleeping late due to no agenda. I apply for work and though I found 2 jobs being here in a few days, I have now been unable at all.
It definitely has me down. Me body is reacting as well as I get dehydrated and more when dealing with some things. It is a curse and a blessing being me physically. I am now dealing with the former and I am trying to get out of my funk. Hell I have not written n awards post, a movie review, reviews on Oscar movies or much of anything and I am so off.:(
Very little in options
nowhere for me
I’m now just an experiment
A shadow of my former self
at this point
Aches, pains, noises and
much more rule me
Violations and numbers now
Only mad at myself and that
is all I can be…
I went again after work to donate plasma but when my adrenaline gets going it takes a good 90 minutes for my vitals to come close to normal and I was way over.Mind you I took a valium and two muscle relaxers, sat for 30 minutes and I still was wayyyy too high. Given 15 more minutes I was just as high again yet look fine all the same, SAD.
A person new to me that I broke in by has gone from friend to foe it seems. Me going from an ally and trusted to being back stabbed possibly but definitely complained about for no reason. I wondered why I had a massive switch in schedule.
But when all higher ups call that young lady a little girl who doesn’t know what she’s doing I still take offense to it. To boot now they are making fun of her in front of me and I’m sure of me in front of her yet she won’t even talk to me.
Oh my I ride a bike to work, have had three ailments with meds coursing through my body and coming out and it makes me unable to do anything about it. Being new things have come to a head the one they all laugh about and call little girl has things she’d love to know but now I’m staying mute despite me working two nights with her. She’s suddenly stopped talking to me rather at me or just a response. Putting it in Danny glovers line, I’m getting too old for this shit.
Everything went wrong
My whole face was swollen and red
It is hella cold and the ride, long
Sent home from work didn’t help
I thought we wee cool, I wrote a pm
you never answered
I feel like a monster and looked
Are you the one I never had sadly
You came in with light and flirting
through our words, we spiral
You write and I answer to raise the
Yesterday was such a lonely day and
I should hear your voice
Just that alone makes torture just a
thing and I’d be fine
Without you and I bantering I many
not be just fine but…
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