Will you hate me if I disappear?

I may or I may not

We ended badly

So since we do talk

Would you or won’t you?

I may just become a new corpse

I may just intentionally be a statistic

I could simply just go the fuck away, so?

You won’t care

You will worry ehh

You may lose a meal, so?

You were the finish line in it

Maybe the needle that broke a back

Maybe a lie that came back to me

Maybe I was past dealing with it

Maybe I didn’t want to live

mom already gone you don’t know it

If someone is sulking to themselves and nobody knows, are they considered feeling fine?

Whether living alone or with someone that does not

pay attention, they are bad for you

If you are blatantly obvious with your mood, sadness

and more, how can they not see it?

It is like if a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it

does it mean there is no sound or that it happened?

Many depressed people give out all the signals and if they

are missed they sometimes die

Why does this happen so often and is likened to the kids’

bullied shoot up a school

People need to not need to have only “tunnel vision” and

realize that someone is off

I went through several issues and one was after a near fatal

car crash and I was left for dead

I was revived twice and had convulsions and was given bad

meds for me and I could not wean off easily

I slept through an entire month and that was at 2 weeks and

it got worse and took a year to get off and this is for all people

going through any issues that may hinder them

I also see this with people that have other illnesses, whether

physical or mental

It is sad that people and even doctors sometimes do tooooooo

much or do little and it causes a fatality

We need people seeing and hearing us and knowing a change is

made and helping, not ignoring!!!

Don’t just see it and be proactive!!!

2017 Copyright Paul McAleavey wwwpalfitness.wordpress.com

Some health issues…

Things bothering me while

in NY are not gone

Though some have eased up

But a couple reared their head

just recently

I can’t do much about them as

of now and not advertising it

So, I am trying to be on my grind

and have nobody notice

Which will be hard if they read

anything here

I know I am not past that point

as they do look, those here

Maybe those back in NY as well

But I am not going to do anything

except deal with issues as they

come for now

Not being able to breathe due to

reasons I will not say and a sore

throat (I never get them) was bad

enough but I know the underlying

cause and fortunately nobody has

access to my medical records

So, I plan to get more serious and do

what I must:)


2016 Copyright Paul McAleavey wwwpalfitness.wordpress.com



Tomorrow at work will be very damn busy

There’s tons of college football, pro football advance bets, baseball, wnba, UFC with CM Punk making his debut as a big underdog, lots of Breeders Cup Prep Races and it all is part of a very huge amount played. I know there’s other bets as well and I’m in early and will get crushed and hope to be perfect this weekend. 🙂


R eady to just unwind is so nice…WE

E veryone deserves this kind of time…ALL

L olly gagging instead of hustling all over…NEED

A nyway you get to relax and de stress is good…TIME

X oxo, just get away from your daily grind…GIVING

I n the end daily we go through plenty…BODIES

N ice ways to pamper yourself…A NEEDED

G o and just relax already…RECHARGE

2016 Copyright Paul McAleavey wwwpalfitness.wordpress.com



I hate the drivers by me

I do not know where they learned to drive, but they mostly all suck. In the winter they are all too damn afraid to drive. Umm, go to an empty parking lot and learn how to turn into the skid instead of being a wuss. Because we get hit often at times, that means you do not try. Blizzard conditions, different story. That, sadly is the easy part.

Daily I average over 10 miles riding. If I come up to a new block every 50 feet I would say that on the two major roads I am within 3/4rds of a mile away, almost half of the people do not even slow down coming to the impending major road where the speed limit is 50. It is ridiculous. Daily I see at least 5 people go through BRICK RED lights that were for two seconds and they accelerate to over 60 and 1/3rd of the time it becomes an accident and the culprit has the balls to curse out the other driver.

These drivers seemingly are not aware that if two cars come into an intersection at approximately the same time that if one is going straight and the other is turning that the one going straight has the right of way and they bonk and curse for a minute or two. I see people coming out of on the main road parking spots that do not even look behind them to see if anybody is coming. I have had three hit me as it wasn’t a parking spot it was a bike lane, I had to yank my bike to the left, drop it and my feet are in the car’s window and the driver did not even stop. I had somebody taking a LEFT on RED on the same major road, I am 100 meters away and no other cars in sight and because there was an intersection I had a good 10 cars in my way of seeing this guy do this, he crosses 6 lanes of traffic and keeps accelerating, I throw my bike across the street and dive into bushes. Again, the asshole did not even fucking stop. Two people did and one took the license plate number down and the other was a cop. So, that guy got arrested.

Most days I have 50 people pull not just to the end of a driveway, no they must be past the parking lane and actually in the street and stay like that for minutes while they can’t drive and miss 30 chances to turn, I can’t go behind them and am forced into the main road. Or, like I said they actually do not slow down and plan to blast onto a major road.

45 minutes ago I am riding slow, if you do not you die, and this privileged prick blasts through a parking lot at 50 I’d say and wasn’t slowing down and I ended up within inches of hitting his car and going over the hood. I slammed my brakes, the fronts as the back ones are useless and I get tossed right in front of him. This BMW driving dickhead did not so much as roll his window down, he actually made a face like I fucking ruined his day as he had to wait for me to get up. He got stuck at the next light and I almost caught him and he actually drove into oncoming traffic to avoid me.

In my area there is a major heroin and other drug epidemic and even soccer moms sell those and oxys and roxys, including two of the women who drive my niece and nephew home. I had a friend who drives like a maniac, whose bf makes 600 a week yet they both own BMWs as they sell oxys and roxys and make 6k a month, mind you no injuries, me a boatload and I get prescribed by a pain doctor prescription strength ADVIL, but someone with a twisted ankle gets a 3 month supply of oxys and roxys and she is high fiving her friends, WTF?. Not knowing this person was an addict, she would ask something like hey let’s hit Burger King. Sure, why not? The 1 hr trip has her meeting various soccer moms in parking lots, I had no idea and twice I saw the women I referenced above as I took pictures of their cars. Yet I am a menace to my sister, doing nothing wrong by any normal person’s standards and certainly not intentional.

But her bf stalks, texts 200xs a day, throws her down and up against a wall. It is like I am living in another dimension. Because if I hear oh you had dirty dishes in the drying rack, which? This and that, well I washed before you made dinner, those you had the kids use and washed, your mistake. Plus everything is amplified by ALWAYS. Simple shit like that, hiding my keys and worse. But her and the drivers of the area are all right and while she is an accident related attorney, she never dealt with what the client went through after a near fatal accident but calls me every name in the book and most know the rest for being hurt and I will never fully heal. But I am THE ONLY ONE WHO IS WRONG, what the fuck ever.

The day it died

Sunny, warm, humid and sticky day

The wind picked up, a pothole and NAY

It’s gone,  just laid there

Not special or rare

Needed to walk the rest of the way


2016 Copyright Paul McAleavey wwwpalfitness.wordpress.com