Up against it

Very little in options

nowhere for me

I’m now just an experiment

that failed

A shadow of my former self

at this point

Aches, pains, noises and

much more rule me

Violations and numbers now

define me

Only mad at myself and that

is all I can be…

Now 3 days in a row:(

I went again after work to donate plasma but when my adrenaline gets going it takes a good 90 minutes for my vitals to come close to normal and I was way over.Mind you I took a valium and two muscle relaxers, sat for 30 minutes and I still was wayyyy too high. Given 15 more minutes I was just as high again yet look fine all the same, SAD.

A hypocritical world run by what I’m told is a little girl

A person new to me that I broke in by has gone from friend to foe it seems. Me going from an ally and trusted to being back stabbed possibly but definitely complained about for no reason. I wondered why I had a massive switch in schedule.

But when all higher ups call that young lady a little girl who doesn’t know what she’s doing I still take offense to it. To boot now they are making fun of her in front of me and I’m sure of me in front of her yet she won’t even talk to me.

Oh my I ride a bike to work, have had three ailments with meds coursing through my body and coming out and it makes me unable to do anything about it. Being new things have come to a head the one they all laugh about and call little girl has things she’d love to know but now I’m staying mute despite me working two nights with her. She’s suddenly stopped talking to me rather at me or just a response. Putting it in Danny glovers line, I’m getting too old for this shit.

I’ve made mistakes…

Getting home not checking tickets

with bad writers

When I get someone who does and

hits it’s twice they blame ME when they lose

No such thing

I can’t blame a line change especially if I have no

time to play and check proper and it has hurt me

We are all supposed to have the same lines but don’t

Then again love is supposed to be certain and is not

So double entendre.

Plus I have different ppl in management saying do

different things…UGH

I am the only PT er and that will not change for a while,

unless someone dies or I start somewhere else…

In what should have been a race of the ages Blame lost a poorly scheduled race prior race to that year’s Breeder’s Cup Classic against Zenyatta the undefeated mare who was 19 for 19

Sadly Garrett Gomez, who rode Blame passed away tonight as being reported by major horse racing publishments including The Blood Horse. Garrett, like many riders, had a lifelong history of substance abuse and he retired a year ago at 43.





Melancholy rivers…

You are pulled in like

a trap set for you

The quicksand does not

lessen it’s grasp

You are sinking into a lot

of sad feelings

You are depressed, constant

crying and more

Sorrow hits you like seeing a

baby breathe it’s last breath

When needed, you can pull

yourself up

Unhappiness is tearing you up


The tide turned against you and

you’re able to see rapids

They come fast and hard about

your trek and rocks

They do make you flip over almost

a full spin

You’re efforts are the things made

by evil thoughts

You try not to give in, yet you are

hitting everything at once

It is hard to focus and hardest to

escape the clutch of The RIVER…


2016 Copyright Paul McAleavey wwwpalfitness.wordpress.com

Unusual family info

I got a bomb dropped on me an hour ago. I am not giving out my sister’s issues or anything as she gave me little info. But she goes hot cold but seems to have a long term goal. I game here in part that I would get work and I missed her so much. I love her so dearly. She is keeping everything tight and if she actually leaves I will be quite sad for sure. I felt like I got my heart back staying with her and I love her with all of my heart and I hope either she reconsiders or had a bad day with info I expected her to get and she is leaving abd soon without a date.