Having had several bad issues

I have dealt with a Judas or two

I have been cast aside a time plus

I am not happy and am trying

But things are Semper Fi at best

But that doesn’t pay the bills

Now I go after those in question

 

Popping pills and bottles

I must wonder if

I am doing too much

Lost a lot

Lost a lifetime

Many memories

Many moments

Now I am here and doing it

Not sure where I will end up

Not caring

 

 

While trying to bleed out

Make sure to have pain killers

Make sure you are in a tub

Also slice upward and not across

A warning as you’d be admitted

So do not attempt it

Being bad…

With no schedule I can be bad

if I choose to

Pills, bottles and falling out is

the day’s order

Having a reason to be out and

gone is easy

We all have people to look up to

at work

Many times there’s more than just

one and they have different rules

But I tried and was worse than grounded

for it

I am done and then some and putting

myself out for the weekend.

 

Up against it

Very little in options

nowhere for me

I’m now just an experiment

that failed

A shadow of my former self

at this point

Aches, pains, noises and

much more rule me

Violations and numbers now

define me

Only mad at myself and that

is all I can be…

Living right by an airport…

It reminds me of The Blues Brothers train scene and it is a pain in the ass when woken up from the noise. Having kids and adults acting like them and screaming does piss me off. The wallmate playing music all the time and her mother seemingly high falls everywhere and my roommate constantly takes my frying pan, doesn’t clean it but instead allows other things in a greasy pan instead of merely rinsing and a quick clean. I am in a raw mood today…

 

I’m officially withdrawing from all extracurricular activities

For work that is as I am withdrawing from a losing battle and would rather spend my time looking anew, writing, publishing for effs sake finally back to back books and getting some sun and running in. I am not needing further bs as I came here to avoid it and now I am neck deep in it and I have quit far better jobs…This is a real BAD AY for me to have fully filled all of my scripts and I just do not give a damn. At least I will get a full night’s sleep. Possibly a dirt nap…