Accidental mistake

Highs and lows 

Addition errors

Memory loss

Standing up

Falling down

Heads swimming

Legs buckling

Smashed into a wall

Woke up in a mess

Open wounds and sleepy

Past that and shaking

Legs and torso quiver 

Fell again and I’m out

Hung by dental floss 

It seems stronger and rougher

on a person

It can cut you quite easily

just it will hurt

No quick snap like in the old


Merely suffering but alas it’s 

better than other pains

I merely have to just pick a day

and time in this fake world 

2017 Copyright Paul

Thrown down a hole…

It is dark and covered

some 30 feet down

It may have been 1000s

because a snare got me

Too tight to climb out now

Covered in dirt and insects

No way out it seems from this

perilous time

My heart beat does start to


I feel the trembling and the

cold beckoning me to quit

I am about to and can’t believe

I am about to

No memory of things being right

No help coming from anywhere

in sight

I was a cog and now just a mess

to be cleaned afterward…

2017 Copyright Paul McAleavey


Left for dead

Given no voice

Have had the rug pulled out from under me

Besmirched, dissed, put down and worse

Lost in a manner of seconds

Words wasted as well as time

Work had and lost

Relationships ending all around

Simply not good enough

Seriously feeling anxious and sad

No way to have prepared

It happened so quickly

It happened without cause

It seemed better than it was

A facade dressed up as a present

A curse and not a blessing

An IQ that dropped to nothing

Elevation dropped through the floor

Evanescence throughout my being

Early gains are now massive losses…

I hate repetitive dreams

They’re haunting. They follow me around and I’m cool nstantlu losing things. From work, to being homeless and me unable to get around at all. 

Well I’ve had it for a week and my douchebag ex roommates actions were easy to see coming.  I tell people that could help and sometimes they do and other times is nothing.

I moved in here by myself with a cab and I had to walk three flights with 5 total articles. Now 2 months later I’ve accumulated more things. I don’t have anywhere to put my stuff. I don’t know if the roommates ultimatum saying the agency is kicking us out Wednesday when I’m paid up to him and the complex until April 4th. He constantly is lying and changing information. I need immediate help with this as I have to be out early all week and don’t want my belongings taken and it’s not like I can bring them.

Bad day all around


This is for my uncle who may read this. I have no service in here and you have to enable iMessages.

I was up early enough to donate plasma but I tested vitals and due to the pain it was off the charts, a norm for me.

Next was a panel interview and I got two standing ovations but it was suggested that it’s the same property as the wsop I asked a last question which made me among the first group to be excused. My walking was better in a loose heeled loose shoe. Mind you last night I was crawling.

Then I went to the plasma place and again was off but not by much. Next was my pcp and they said get to the ER ASAP.

That’s where I’m sitting now. I hate hospitals.

Please help me

I am in angst as I am badly judged

I’m losing things

Mostly my brain as it can’t comprehend

these attacks

I need a team, a person an idea but

it must be viable and on point

These issues are seriously hard to

deal with

Pills can’t keep your head straight

and your dreams are haunting

These meds make you a living nightmare

trapped in under belly

Light, smells and visions are not real

to you and will never be again

A spiral staircase that will never

end in either direction

Your climb is a perilous one also

as there are obstacles in the way

Your starting point is absolute 0,

you need moves in progression

This noted, you must be quite careful

as you are in a drug induced coma

Are you or are you not now in one?

this is being in the moment

Sadly for many people we do go off

on people, act nuts and worse


2017 Paul McAleavey