Sometimes you just are. Nobody seems to get it. Family, friends, co-workers seem to not know your pain. You were once the boy Christmas never forgot and now you are just the damn kid that became a man without a child himself. You used to watch every movie and loved them all. You brought cheer, even did Carol.
When you have ever loved every Xmas movie and even the damn remakes and always was out rigging the lights on all houses. Plus the family was dual for Christmas as Italian and Eve was huge and boy it always was and sadly when people passed we lost a lot and it became small. It turned into just siblings and not doing anything and us with gfs bfs, husbands and wives. I busted me butt off and set it up lovely and had a wonderful 5-7 course Xmas Eve and Night dinner for two that was between 5 to 7 courses. Yes, I actually cook and even dessert.
I guess the dessert is the place to go as you can get the real meaning but sadly that does not hold much anymore as salaries float btw nil, 20 and some 25-40 and then the uppers and then you go across the country and the world and there are bottom feeders. I will watch and sit, not having all of my Xmas belongings and even my dog’s toys and I am past sad.
So no meals, no mistletoe, yes a person with an eye, but that stuff is not happening and i am set to be without a room in a week and change unless I get a loan. I will be on silent and sit watching 24 hours of watching movies…