Biting Down 

Souldier Girl

I’m finding it hard to concentrate

Thoughts speaking without raising their hands
Raising their voices
Without being called on
Problems scribbled on the blackboard of my heart
Lacking a solution for their missing parts
Attempts to steady my shaking hands
Replacing God where there was once man
I try to sit alone and quiet down
A smile traced on my face
…They all think she is ok
What if life behaved in an opposite way?
Where we just spoke the truth
Of how we really were on any given day
I would say,
…I am biting down with weak teeth
I am spitting out these words just to stop the nervous tweaks
I am holding it all in
I am under the water, freezing my breath
…becoming the hustler of life’s test
Shadowboxing the unrest
The hive is loose
And it is I they seem to choose
Their stings…

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@ShashaSelflove 9/27/16 Walk With You



Sometime it is only you that can help you find the answer you are searching for, it isn’t that there is a lack or friends or resources. Simply put, you have to cross this particular path alone, forcing yourself to face your worst enemy – you.

Truth is,  I walk with me, no one else can carry the burden that rests heavy on my shoulders. No one can feel the tornado that slowly twirls inside my chest, destroying my heart. But somehow, I lose myself even though I am holding the map.

Like a pair of socks in the dryer, I suddenly find myself missing my train of thought.  I was going in one direction and found myself somewhere completely unintended.  I swore not to let anyone in again and there I was losing myself in a pair of brown eyes.

I miss her, the girl that didn’t hurt, the…

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divine feminine 

sheila sea

my mother always says I sit like a man

at some point after living reckless

and breastless

early on,

my bones started to shift

and fat started to amass

in strange places


I wasn’t allowed to use the phone past 7 PM

or climb trees in dresses

I started wearing loose fitting


made embarrassed by protruding edges

and when my pelvis finally burst

and bloodied all my sheets

I cried

unable to comprehend

this so called gift

of divine feminity

I have a friend who is afraid she is a slut

and I think we’re all afraid that we’re sluts

we’re told we can be sluts from such an early age

first blood

first kiss

first base

first boyfriend

first one night stand

only judgement makes a slut

so I’ve traded off some things

I’ve let go of some others

I speak loudly

and my ex boyfriends


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Two Lips

Elan Mudrow


You look so new tonight.

I remember those wild lips….that

I was frightened to kiss.


I’ve never listened to my fears

Passing by them, feeling

My triumph from meager beginnings

The medieval beginnings of us

Into an age of reason

Our passionate verse becoming

Sensible prose

Materializing into a lucid love


My fears have defeated me

Into states of wilted forms

Unable to stop the trampling

Nights of tears, the years

That can only be blamed upon myself

And the rigid forms of uncertainty

Established by a host of rules

Stretched out in never ending handwriting

Powerless to put the right words together

Our undoing?

I find it funny, that all I wanted

Was a calmness, a quietude

A place

Between your Anthropocene blankets

Use what literature we have

Sing as poets

Plot as fiction

And now,

You appear to me tonight

With your face fresh, blushed

Warmer than…

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Some health issues…

Things bothering me while

in NY are not gone

Though some have eased up

But a couple reared their head

just recently

I can’t do much about them as

of now and not advertising it

So, I am trying to be on my grind

and have nobody notice

Which will be hard if they read

anything here

I know I am not past that point

as they do look, those here

Maybe those back in NY as well

But I am not going to do anything

except deal with issues as they

come for now

Not being able to breathe due to

reasons I will not say and a sore

throat (I never get them) was bad

enough but I know the underlying

cause and fortunately nobody has

access to my medical records

So, I plan to get more serious and do

what I must:)


2016 Copyright Paul McAleavey




T o do a lot and deal with a lot

R eally getting run down and upset

Y et I am continuing to move forward

I t is hard when things are not as advertised

N ot a lot has been but I have been nicely surprised

G ot to get through a few things and put in some time


2016 Copyright Paul McAleavey


Lol, had to…


Six word story part DEUX #98

“Sometimes fuckitol (sic) does explain it WELL”